I haven’t been posting much about what I’ve been reading so here are some thoughts on books I’ve read recently!

Monstrilio- SO worth the hype. I loved how real this story felt despite being tilted with a grim fantasy strangeness. I find that takes a really talented and creative writer. It is beautiful but totally gutting (pun….intended). I can’t wait to see more from this author.

Best quote “god is a scumbag“ lmaoo

How to Lose Everything- this hurt my heart so much. The title says it all- someone who really loses everything. And this is felt hard while reading. The author is a queer Indigenous woman who went through hell but still grew a life blooming with flowers and joy. A very empowering memoir.

Heart the Lover- I had super high hopes for this one and I think it met them?? It was extremely well written. I didn’t love the plot but the writing was so engaging, I really felt like I too was experiencing everything the characters were going through. The references to other renowned works was a cool element in this one. Also, the card game I am dying to play because it sounds so good lol who wants to play Sir Hincomb Funnibuster???

Lost Lambs- Major ICK. How does this have so many rave reviews? It’s racist and ableist as fuck.

There is a way to portray shitty characters and this just isn’t it. I don’t even feel comfortable typing out the quotes. 🥴 gross

This isn't even remotely related to bookish content, but it's been on my mind and ties in with yesterday's post. Being upset about an interaction that didn't go the way you wanted is valid; however, we rarely, if ever, have all the facts about an interaction, because we cannot know everyone's perspective.

So we have this interaction, feel something, and our brain tells us it must be true. That belief drives much of our emotional suffering.

From a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy lens, there's an important distinction that changes how we relate to our internal world.

All emotions are valid. Not all emotions are accurate.

This difference matters because it shapes how we respond to ourselves in moments of distress. If we treat every emotion as proof of reality, we react to our thoughts as facts. And one thing I always tell my clients: "Thoughts aren't facts."

If we dismiss our emotions, we lose useful information about our needs and patterns. CBT offers a middle path. We take our emotions seriously without assuming they're telling us the full truth.

Let's start with what validity means.

An emotion is valid when it makes sense based on our internal experience. Our brain processes a situation, generates a thought, and produces a feeling. That sequence happens quickly and often outside of awareness. The feeling that follows isn't random. It's a direct response to how we interpreted what happened. Our perception of events.

If we feel anxious after someone doesn't respond to a message, that anxiety is valid. Our mind may have linked the silence to rejection. If we feel shame after making a mistake, that shame is valid. Our mind may have linked the mistake to our sense of worth.

Validation does not mean agreement. It means acknowledging that our emotional response has a cause.

Accuracy is a separate question.

An emotion is accurate when the thought driving it reflects the full context of the situation. In CBT, thoughts are evaluated for distortions. These include mind reading, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, personalization, and more. When a thought is distorted, the emotion that follows feels intense and convincing, but it may not match reality.

Here's an example of a common experience we have.

You send a message and don't get a reply.

Your automatic thought might be, “They are ignoring me. I did something wrong.”

The emotion that follows is anxiety or rejection.

That emotion is valid. It follows the thought.

Now examine the thought.

What evidence supports the idea that you're being ignored?
What evidence suggests other explanations?
Have there been times when this person responded late for neutral reasons?

When you step back, you often see that you don't have enough information to confirm the original belief.

You try a reframe.

“They might be busy. I don't know why they haven't responded yet.”

The emotional shift is immediate. Anxiety decreases. Curiosity or mild concern replaces it.

The first emotion was valid. The second emotional response is more accurate because the thought aligns better with available evidence.

This is the core of perspective taking.

Perspective-taking expands the frame beyond our initial interpretation. It asks us to consider multiple explanations, not only the one that feels most emotionally charged. This doesn't invalidate our experience. It updates it.

Another example shows how this plays out with self-evaluation.

You make a mistake at work.

Your automatic thought is, “I'm incompetent.”

The emotion is shame.

That shame is valid. It reflects the meaning you assigned to the mistake.

Now challenge the thought.

Does one mistake define your overall ability?
What is the actual impact of this error?
What would you say to a colleague in the same situation?

A more balanced thought might be, “I made a mistake. I can correct it and learn from it.”

The emotional response shifts to disappointment or accountability. These emotions are still uncomfortable, but they're proportionate to the situation and more useful for problem-solving.

The distinction between valid and accurate emotions becomes especially important in relationships.

When someone cancels plans, we might feel hurt and think, “They don't care about me.” The hurt is valid, but the conclusion may not be accurate. Without examining the thought, we risk reacting in a way that damages the relationship. With perspective-taking, we create space to respond rather than react.

This approach changes how we treat ourselves.

Instead of saying, “I shouldn't feel this way,” we say, “It makes sense that I feel this way, given what I'm telling myself.” That reduces shame around the emotion. Then we ask, “Is my thought the only explanation, or the most accurate one?” That invites flexibility.

The goal is not to eliminate emotion. The goal is to align our emotional responses with reality as closely as possible.

In practice, this means slowing the process down.

Identify the situation.
Notice the thought that came up.
Name the emotion that followed.

Then examine the thought.

What am I assuming?
What evidence supports this?
What evidence does not?
What are alternative explanations?

When the thought shifts, the emotional experience shifts with it. This is not about forcing yourself to feel better. It is about responding to a more complete picture.

You don't have to choose between honoring your emotions and staying grounded in reality. You can do both.

Happy La Casa De Los Espiritus release day to all who celebrate!

I can't believe that it's been TWO months since I announced our April book club selection would be The House Of The Spirits in anticipation of the release of the Amazon Prime series and it's FINALLY HERE today! The first 3 episodes are out today and it appears the remaining 5 episodes will release in the next 2 weeks. I had the privilege of seeing the first 2 episodes at the premiere, but, unfortunately, forgot my notebook and we weren't allowed to take out phones, so my very surface-level first impressions will appear at the bottom of this post. Before that, I wanted to tell you all about this trip that Amazon Prime invited me on...

(A BRIEF NOTE: having issues importing in photos, so will use social media photos for now and maybe a seperate post after I figure out with more behind-the-scenes photos. Apologies!)

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

Apparently my video announcing our April book club selection somehow made it to the Prime Video team, who were looking to select some Latinx content creators from the US--overall, there were 16 influencers from all over Latin America and Spain in my cohort. There were several other groups of Chilean and Latin American influencers that weren't with us, but that we met up with at the premiere. In the spirit of transparency, this was not a paid opportunity, but my travel, accommodations, and meals were paid by Prime Video (I hope this isn't oversharing, but as many of you know, I take care of my elderly mother full-time, so it did weigh heavily to be away from home for so long. This opportunity appeared in my inbox the day after Veela left me and I felt like it was the universe saying...DO IT. The pull of attending the premier of the adaptation of one my favorite Latine books, combined with travel to explore a place I've never been before was just too alluring to pass up. I made arrangements for Mami's care for the week and packed my bags).

THE AGENDA

I was away for 5 nights total--Monday - Friday last week. Only 3 nights were at the hotel in Santiago, the other 2 nights were overnight flying to the destination. To say that my neck and back are feeling it STILL, is an understatement. I'll be sharing a reel and some carousels on socials this afternoon with more photos and videos, but here's a little more detail of what this trip was like (in addition to what was already shared on Discord while I was away).

TUESDAY

I arrived early Tuesday morning and was greeted by the Prime Video team and was surprised that they immediately asked me to make content! This was my first "influencer trip" outside of the book community and upon landing, it was already SO different. It took a couple of takes (I was both surprised and EXHAUSTED), but I got a little snippet that they used in this video, which is a little private recap of the day created by the team. Also, let me know if you're interested in seeing the two other videos.

Once we made it into Santiago, I had most of the day to myself, as the others were all flying in. I walked down to the MUT which was a 10 minute walk from the hotel because it appeared there were some bookstores in and around it--I wasn't prepared for what an incredible public space awaited me, full of Latin American brands and crafts. What I thought was one bookstore inside, was, by my counts, three...and I do think there were more because they were having a bookstore night on Saturday, April 25th.

I didn't buy any books because when I got to my room, there was a giant box of goodies from La Casa De Los Espiritus awaiting me and I knew it was going to be a challenge to even fit that in my suitcase (spoiler: she DID, in fact, get the box to fit in and safely fit in her suitcase!).

I rested and had a snack in the afternoon in anticipation of preparing for our first event Tuesday evening, which took place at the rooftop of our hotel.

You'll note in all the activations that they did a beautiful job with every single detail, whether it was the flowers which play a big role in the first episodes, the beautiful blue and gold design on everything from the tarot cards to notecards, the consistent La Casa De Los Espiritus sign for all our individual and group photos. No detail went unnoticed and you could tell the team worked tirelessly planning every single detail of these experiences (and they all tie to the beautiful opening credits of the show).

Tuesday's cocktail hour was a mix of appetizers, cocktails, and wine. There was a sommelier there who was so knowledgeable about Chilean wines (did you know they're at the same latitude as California?) The one that stood out to me was the 2023 Antiyal Pura Fe Carmenere from the Maipo Valley. It was one of the best red wines I've ever had and I regret not bringing back bottles with me (see the story of the box I stuffed into my suitcase instead). I tasted some spectacular wines as I got to know my new creator friends I would be spending the next few days with.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday morning, we were up early for an activation at Palacio Bruna, which is the house that you see on the movie poster for the show and is the primary house of The House Of The Spirits AND the primary filming location for those scenes.

The crew, once again, set up a beautifully detailed experience with a picnic embroidery activation, a book to write our memories, a journaling experience, a beautiful set-up for brunch, including a cello serenade, and an outdoor photography session with a retro camera.

Afterwards, we walked through Santiago's Lastarria neighborhood, Parque Forestal, a stop at Museo Bellas Artes, and a little stop for some trinkets with local street vendors. Overall, I was already charmed and VERY in love with Santiago just seeing the little bit that I had.

Tuesday night, we headed to Liguria Restaurant, where we had our fortunes told on a three legged table (ala Clara) and had a lovely dinner inside a La Casa De Los Espiritus library. The bookstagrammer in me tried everything possible to not just take 10,000 photos with those bookshelves.

THURSDAY

We were up early, yet again, for our final and MOST JAM-PACKED AND IMPORTANT DAY!

We headed over to Casa Sanz for our second-to-last activation AND a PANEL WITH Alfonso Herrera (Esteban Trueba), Nicole Wallace (Clara joven), Dolores Fonzi (Clara vieja), Fernanda Castillo (Ferula Trueba) and Juan Pablo Raba (Tio Marcos). Two of the major highlights of the panel for me, other than getting to briefly speak with the actors as I walked up and take a photo of them were Dolores Fonzi hyping up The Open Veins of Latin America as a book she'd like to see get an adaptation. The second was Alfonso Herrera on an international stage discussing that in some Florida school districts, you can't find The House of the Spirits because it's been banned. Seeing an international spotlight put on what is happening here in Florida made me so emotional--people are seeing what's happening here and are as shocked and outraged as I am. I felt so validated (and, secretly, did he see this post of mine from Latinx Heritage Month?).

We had about 90 minutes between events and Thursday night's event was THE PREMIERE! We were greeted by a caravan of vintage cars used in the show, where got to take some photos before heading out to the event. One of the most delightful thing I've ever seen are the looks of sheer joy on people's faces as we drove by--they were sharing in the joy with their friends, taking photos and videos of us--again, this goes back to the level of detail and care the planners of this event took, but that caravan of vintage cars with La Casa De Los Espiritus magnet on the side were better than ANY billboard.

We arrived JUST in time to the event (actually, it involved all of us getting out of our cars about a block and a half before arriving and literally sprinting for our lives down the street to get on the blue carpet ahead of the actors). This was my first premiere and it was so exciting and thrilling.

We were ushered into the Municipal Theater of Santiago and then the director and showrunners, Francisca Alegría, Fernanda Urrejola, and Andres Wood all gave very emotional speeches--this show, based on a book by a Chilean author, made and directed by Chileans, for the rest of the world premiering in its home country? The anticipation and emotions were running high...my review of the show is below.

This was my first blue (ie, red) carpet and it was incredible to experience the press, the party, the general splendor of it all. It was also so great to just see the actors hanging out afterwards among the attendees, many of whom were friends and family. One of the creators from LA who does lots of red carpet events told me that this would NEVER happen in LA.

In fact, as I made my way to the service bar (I couldn't get a passed drink) for a glass of champagne, I casually ran into Noelia Coñuenao, who plays Pancha Garcia, and obviously from these photos, we're now best friends.

FRIDAY

I was EXHAUSTED from going nonstop by the time I woke up on Friday, but I did manage to spend a little time sightseeing in the Santiago Metropolitan Park and ride the Fenicular (historic elevator) and cable cars to get beautiful vistas of the city from San Cristobal Hill.

I had a brief lunch at one of the 50 best sushi restaurants in Latin America, Karai, and then it was time to origami my suitcase together before heading home.

Overall, the experience felt like a Hollywood film to me, but Santiago was grounding and welcoming. I didn't get a good feel for the city, but every time I found out something new about the city, it made me want to return even more. I left a part of my heart in Santiago and I intend to return, this time with less of an agenda and more to visit the sites and beautiful country.

Before I leave you, my quick thoughts on the show...

MY QUICK REVIEW of LA CASA DE LOS ESPIRITUS (could be spoilery for those who want to know NOTHING before watching)

I audibly gasped when the show began--it begins with a little foreshadowing (a view of the house) and, if you read the book, it begins out of order from the book. I always go into a book adaptation expecting differences and I really enjoyed this creative angle the directors and show runners took. After that short introduction, the story remained mostly true to the novel, from Clara's childhood, her relationship with Rosa was so beautifully played out, Esteban (UGH) existed and was deliciously played by Pocho.

You can tell that the production levels of the show were extremely high--from the filming locations all over Chile, to the gorgeous was some of the magical realism symbolism were displayed via CGI, the costuming and hair and make-up details. You felt like you were living in that time period 100 years ago. The sets and every single detail of everyday life were tediously accounted for the time period and care and love for the story. I have no complaints on anything EXCEPT (warning, slight spoiler for first 2 episodes and tw: rape)...

There was one thing that did not appear in the first 2 episodes, which have me a bit concerned for the whole of the story. As readers of the book know, all these women had to live in Esteban's life for him to finally understand the consequences of his politics and actions, the most cruel of which was that he was a serial rapist. This was vividly and viciously depicted in the novel and it is a central aspect of who Esteban is as a man. I don't think there is a way to appropriately convey him as a character without examining that aspect of his actions and neither of the episodes depicted it--there was possibly a hint, maybe, but I would be very disappointed with the show if it's not portrayed in later episodes because I'd see it as a whitewashing of Esteban.

I have hopes that the show will remain true and just wanted to build certain pillars of the story before introducing this aspect of Esteban's character. I'll definitely be tuning in and hope to hear your thoughts if you decide to as well...

I hope you enjoyed me taking you along on this ride and beyond the social media posts.

xo,

Carmen

Please submit your creativity to this month's newsletter by FRIDAY. 🍃

This month's theme is: Around the Table.

Spring seems to pair beautifully with "gathering". The weather is nice, so we all begin the slow, careful tiptoe toward the outdoors. Festivals abound, grill out invitations arrive. I even like to move my reading to a local park or a friends backyard.

That's why this month I wanted to feature all the different ways we gather, whether it be virtually or in person, and why it feels so meaningful.

If you'd like to add something to our newsletter this month, here's a list of what I'd love to include:

• A recipe that feels meaningful and the story behind it.

• Anything that reflects what “gathering” looks like in your life right now, in big or small ways.

• A book, show, or piece of writing you’ve “shared at the table” with others, or that feels connective to you.

• A photo of a meal, table setting, kitchen moment, or anything that shows how you gather.

• A moment of generosity or care, like something you made, shared, or offered to someone else recently.

Ready to submit? CLICK HERE to send in your piece.

I can't wait to see how you gather!
Meg

It might be spring, but winter is coming for The Coterie! We’re reading The Red Winter by Cameron Sullivan in May 🐺🩸🗡️

I’ve heard that this is an incredible debut historical fantasy novel and I’m so excited to read it with you guys! Also, don’t forget to check the Discord for this month’s giveaway winner 📱

"This is a risk. The idea of loving him, of losing him, scares me to death But living safe hasn't made me happy. Hasn't brought me joy. We're on the path. Now we have to keep going. Day by day. Step by step. That's how we'll climb the mountain. That's how we'll get to the top."

GENRE: Romance
RATING:4.75/5
FORMAT:eBook Arc
Tropes:Grumpy x Sunshine, Found Family, Only one Tenet, City Girl x Country Boy, Dislike to Lovers

Review:
If you've been around for a while, you know I love grumpy x sunshine and the reason is that we get to see beneath BOTH of these type of personalities. While they're both on the opposite end of personality types, they stem from the same thing: hiding the vulnerabilities of who we are and eventually, really, it becomes who we are.

Walk this Way focuses on both Angus and Rowan as they meet during their hike that they both need as a breather from life and just stepping away from everything else. These two individuals are looking to heal in this walk set in the highlands in Scotland with beautiful views.

We dive deep in this book in a lot of themes, including grief, mental health, struggling to fit in and accepting who you are and finding your place in the world. There is also discussion of family, how they shape us and how unconditional love may not be so unconditional or at least, it never truly feels that way.

The author does an amazing job of diving into these themes, showing us how heavy some things are in life and how we cope with them. Some of us (Rowan) cope by putting up a front, wearing clothes that are bright and trying to bring them brightness into our lives through that means. Others (Angus) go back home and reclaim the space we always called home, while trying to make it our own.

Essentially, this is a journey of two characters finding each other, learning more about themselves and making their way back to each other when they are both ready, rather than rushing into it. I think it was a lovely book and the fact that it's set in Scotland is a bonus point with a Scottish hiking trip and beautiful description of the Highlands. Oh and the found family/friends they make along the way? So wholesome! I think we get a little insight into all of their lives in a way that doesnt take anything out of Angus & Rowan's story and I enjoyed that so much!

Thank you to the author for the Arc copy in the exchange for my honest opinion.

"To those readers, I simply say, look closer. The path to happily ever after is rarely a straight line. And every love story - no matter how predictable - is always earned."

GENRE: Romance
RATING:4.25/5
FORMAT:eBook Arc
Tropes: This one is in the book cover as given by the title (love this!)

Review:
Tropesick was an interesting (in the best of ways) read, one that is filled with emotions and sadness. I'll admit it definitely broke my heart and fixed it, only to have it broken again throughout reading the book.

This is a SAD Romance with a HEA. It's sad because it's true, love stories aren't always easy. Not everyone finds their person and hits it off immediately without life getting in the way and oh, how life got in the way for these two. When it's time to try again, it's difficult because giving anyone a second chance is like saying to them that actually, hey, you hurt me so much the first time but I love you so wholeheartedly that I'll give you another chance so please don't hurt me again

Both Katie and Tyler are hurt and broken from the past, from losing someone close to them and the aftermath of it all. Katie, dressed in all colourful and glitter, is trying so hard to hold it all together and pretending to be normal. She's struggling with grief, loss and so much more after losing her brother. Meanwhile Tyler, who lost his best friend (Katie's brother), has to continue to face his inner demons and we all know those never rest and let us breathe.

And when they come together to ghostwrite for Meredith Bradford? Oh, the sparks that fly. The way they start to be vulnerable and learn who they are again while healing from their past.

There's a lot of emotional heaviness in Tropesick, it's worth ensuring you're in the right headspace before you dive into it and checking the trigger warnings for this book but what's a little Romance and love story if it doesnt hurt in the process, especially if it has a little bit of magic in it?

I will say that while I really enjoyed reading the story, I think the main thing that brought the rating down a bit for me was that the connections between the tropes, the story that Katie & Tyler were writing and their own story was a bit all over the place. We have dual-pov, timeline jumps and two stories happening at once so it was a tad bit a lot at times to keep up but it was a well worth journey at the end of it, to see how their love story folded out.

Thank you to the author, publisher and netgalley for the Arc copy in the exchange for my honest opinion.

"In a world without discernment, in the attempt to give everything a chance, you could die without tasting chocolate. I was not sorry."

GENRE: Lit Fic/Romance
RATING:5/5
FORMAT:eBook Arc

Overall Impression:WHAT A BOOK!!! This is the type of book that will linger long after I've finished it, as it breaks down in my head in the best of ways.

Review:
WHAT A BOOK!!!! Okay, I repeat, what a book.

Bad Words is a tale in which we have two different people who come together with all the intentions of hating one another and we watch it blossom into a love story. It's a story in which we meet Parker, the chronic people pleaser as he argues with Selina, our critic who wants to preserve art, criticism and staying honest to oneself.

This book delivers a commentary on two different parts of the Book world: an author and a critic while being witty, funny and just bluntly honest about the reasons humans do the things we do. It shows how criticism is important, and yet with the world we live in today, everyone can comment on anything that's been said and done.

At the same time, Bad Words dives into what it means to be a human and to want to be loved. It delves into the fact that Parker, a people pleaser and a peace chaser, has never felt seen before Selina. He goes through life with a way of fitting in between people, wanting to be loved AND yet, when all is said and done, he cant help but feel that he did a disservice to himself. This results in him realising that people never understood his work and the themes he wanted to deliver with his book.

Selina defies this by sticking to her principles, by being that one corner in the literature world that is honest. There was a beauty in her perspective, the way she loved what she did and was honest to it. The way that she wouldn't sacrifice this just to appeal to people or more accurately, to please them.

We also dive into the affect of social media and how, at all times, if something goes wrong or viral, everyone is going to have an input and without barriers in place, you can get stuck in there and never come out of it. None of us can ever truly know the people we interact with on social media and more importantly, we get to see that anyone who writes (Authors, critics...etc.) put their soul into their work but the interpretation of it is left upon us readers to look into.

I dont know if this review can do justice to how much I enjoyed this book, how I flew through it and how funny yet powerful & emotional it was. Its a beautiful blend of Literary fiction with Romance together in a way that shows us all we really want is someone to rise up to who we are and to see us truly rather than someone who wishes to change us.

Thank you to the author, publisher and netgalley for the Arc copy in the exchange for my honest opinion.

I've been thinking about what happened at Book Con with Tracy Deonn and how that correlates to what happened last summer at Sinners and Stardust in Boston. These two things have one thing in common that is both simple and complex. Parasocial relationships. As we ramp up book convention season here are some things to think about.

When a reader walks into a convention space, their behavior often shifts faster than they expect or realize. Social psychology explains this phenomenon well. Environments shape norms. Norms shape behavior.

Researchers like Philip Zimbardo showed how quickly people adjust to roles based on context. In convention settings, the cues are clear. Costumes, fandom language, themed spaces, and shared identity all signal that this is not everyday life. The result is a temporary suspension of usual social boundaries. This is often called deindividuation, a concept studied by psychologist Leon Festinger. I have been to many conventions in the last five years, and I have witnessed this time and again, and I have started to call it convention liberation. When people feel less tied to their individual identity, they rely more on group norms. At conventions, the group norm leans toward openness, intensity, and emotional expression.

That shift can feel freeing. Many attendees report a sense of permission. They speak more openly, flirt more directly, and express admiration with fewer filters. Sociologist Erving Goffman described social life as a performance. Conventions function like a stage where the “front stage” rules change. You are no longer bound to your usual script.

At the same time, another process is happening. Parasocial relationships are activated and intensified. The term was first defined by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. These are one-sided relationships in which a person feels emotional closeness toward a public figure who does not know them. Media exposure builds familiarity. Repeated exposure builds perceived intimacy. As a reader, many of these authors share tidbits about their lives with their readers online, and coupled with reading their books, which gives the reader what feels like a peek into the soul of the author, this gives the reader the sense that they deeply know these authors.

At a convention, that perceived intimacy meets physical proximity.

That combination creates a mismatch. The attendee feels like they are meeting someone they already know. The person behind the table is meeting a stranger while trying to do their job. This gap drives a sense of entitlement. Research on parasocial bonds shows that people often overestimate reciprocity. They expect warmth, time, emotional engagement, or even physical closeness because the relationship feels real on their side.

You see this in behavior. People interrupt conversations. They push for personal details. They expect extended interactions beyond what the setting allows. Some cross physical boundaries, as we saw at Sinner and Stardust. Others treat access as a right rather than a limited resource.

There is also a structural factor. Conventions blur lines between access and labor. Writers, actors, and artists are marketed as approachable. The setting encourages connection. Yet these individuals are working. They are managing time, energy, and often large crowds. The labor includes emotional regulation. They are expected to be kind, engaged, and responsive even when faced with invasive behavior. They often have to perform overly exaggerated positivity, which can be tremendously draining.

This creates a tension between two sets of norms. Attendees operate under a temporary norm of liberation. Workers operate under professional norms and constraints.

The result is predictable. Boundary violations increase in environments where norms are unclear or shifting. Studies on norm ambiguity show that when expectations are not explicit, people rely on internal desires or group cues. At conventions, those cues often prioritize enthusiasm over restraint.

Clear boundaries reduce this problem. When expectations are stated and enforced, behavior shifts quickly. People follow norms when they are visible and reinforced. This aligns with decades of research on social conformity.

So what is happening is not random. It is patterned.

A high stimulation environment lowers inhibition. Group identity increases emotional expression. Parasocial bonds create a sense of closeness. Structural ambiguity around roles creates entitlement.

All of these factors converge in one space. The result feels like freedom for some people. For others, especially those working the event, it feels like constant boundary management.

Understanding this helps reframe the issue. The behavior is not about individual morality alone. It is about context shaping perception, expectation, and action.

If you want that moment to feel meaningful without crossing a line, focus on intention and respect.

Pause before you step up. Remind yourself this is a brief, shared interaction, not a personal relationship. That small mental reset changes how you show up.

Keep your words specific and contained. Share one sentence about what their work meant to you. For example, “Your book helped me feel less alone during a hard time.” That lands. It doesn't require a long response or emotional labor.

Watch for cues. If the line is moving, keep it moving. If the person shifts their body, looks to the next attendee, or shortens responses, that is your signal to wrap up.

Ask before you extend the interaction. A quick “Is it okay if I ask one more thing?” gives them control. If they hesitate, let it go.

Respect physical space. Do not assume touch is welcome. A simple “Can I get a photo?” or “Is a hug okay?” keeps consent clear.

Avoid personal or intrusive questions. You are there to appreciate their work, not access their private life.

Decide your boundary ahead of time. Go in knowing you will keep it brief, kind, and grounded.

Meaning does not come from how long the interaction lasts. It comes from clarity, respect, and presence in a short moment.

Happy pub day!! This week’s releases?? We’ve got dragons and deadly fae politics, cozy coastal romances, existential end-of-the-world heartbreak, and a few that had me fully spiraling in the best (and slightly unsettling) way 👀

Some of these are immediate adds. Some… depend on your mood.

Let’s get into it.

🖤 Blood Bound
Read or skip: READ (especially if you live for powerful female friendships + dragons)
Rating: 4.5 stars

This one?? Yeah, it got me.

Dragons. Witches. Dual POV women who are not romantically involved but somehow give Aelin + Manon energy?? I was locked in.

The female friendship here is everything I want more of in romantasy: complicated, respectful, layered, and rooted in strength instead of competition. They don’t dim each other. They challenge each other.

And the dragons?? Fully realized personalities. They TALK. They have opinions. I was obsessed.

The plot moves fast with enough twists to keep you theorizing, and while I would’ve loved a little more depth in certain parts of the worldbuilding, the character dynamics absolutely carry this.

Final thought: A romantasy that remembers the women at the center, and lets them be powerful together.

🖤 Amid Clouds and Bones
Read or skip: READ (for dark fae + strategic FMCs)
Rating: 4 stars

Think The Cruel Prince… but darker, sharper, and way more brutal in its politics.

This is true enemies-to-lovers with an arranged marriage that actually feels dangerous. The MMC is cruel in a way that never lets you get too comfortable, and the FMC? She doesn’t shrink. She adapts. She plots.

I loved watching her learn how to survive in a world designed to break her. Every interaction feels like a chess match.

Also: standalone romantasy??? We love to see it.

Final thought: Smart, dark, and strategic with a heroine who refuses to be outplayed.

🌊 Summer Flames
Read or skip: READ (if you want cozy, small-town summer vibes)
Rating: 4 stars

This one feels like golden hour in book form.

Harbor-town setting, summer festivals, café scenes, and that quiet “what am I doing with my life?” energy that hits a little too close sometimes.

It’s more atmospheric than plot-heavy, but it works. The story leans into character growth and those small, meaningful shifts, figuring out what to hold onto and what to let go of.

If you like authors like Debbie Macomber or Elin Hilderbrand, this is very much your lane.

Final thought: Soft, reflective, and perfect for when you want something that feels like summer.

🔍 How to Cheat Your Own Death
Read or skip: READ (especially if you love cozy mysteries with bite)
Rating: 4.5 stars

I’m calling it now: this might be my favorite in this series so far.

Dual timelines that both actually work?? Rare. And I was equally invested in both.

You’ve got 1960s Soho glamour, present-day murder, and a mystery that connects in a way that kept me fully locked in. Add in sharp banter, an armchair detective vibe, and just enough darkness to keep the stakes real.

Also… Detective Crane?? I need answers. Immediately.

Final thought: Cozy mystery energy with layered storytelling and a plot that actually sticks the landing.

🌲 Dark Is When the Devil Comes
Read or skip: READ (with caveats)
Rating: 3.75 stars

This book had me tense the entire time.

Small town. Missing woman. Creepy woods. Multiple POVs. And that constant feeling that something is wrong in a way you can’t quite name.

The atmosphere?? Incredible. Truly unsettling in that slow-burn way where you’re just waiting for everything to snap.

My only issue: the ending felt rushed compared to the buildup, and there were a few threads that could’ve used more focus.

Final thought: Super eerie and emotionally heavy, but it needed a little more time to fully land.

🕯️ Hex House
Read or skip: READ (for feminist horror + dark fairy tale vibes)
Rating: 4 stars

This is one of those books that uses horror to actually say something.

It dives into domestic abuse, autonomy, rage, and transformation in a way that feels intentional and grounded, not just aesthetic darkness for the sake of it.

The dual POV works really well here, and I loved the investigative/documentary angle layered into the story. It keeps the mystery front and center while still giving us deep character work.

Also: this reads like a dark feminist fairy tale in the best way.

Final thought: Heavy, atmospheric, and thematically strong with something real to say.

🎭 Break Room
Read or skip: SKIP (unless you want something deeply introspective)
Rating: 3.5 stars

This is less “fun thriller” and more “quiet existential spiral.”

The premise is so good (coworkers voted as the most disliked people forced into a reality show to uncover a mole), but the story leans heavily into introspection over action.

Which isn’t a bad thing… just not what everyone will expect going in.

It really makes you sit with uncomfortable questions about how we perceive others, and how we’re perceived in return.

Final thought: Thought-provoking and sharp, but more reflective than entertaining.

🌌 We Burned So Bright
Read or skip: READ (bring tissues)
Rating: 4.25 stars

This one hurt.

An older queer couple on a road trip at the literal end of the world, and somehow it still feels deeply intimate and personal.

Their love story is the heart of this, and it’s done so beautifully. You feel the weight of a life lived together, the regrets, the memories, the quiet moments that matter most.

But just know: this doesn’t wrap you in comfort. It leaves you sitting in the emotion.

Final thought: Quietly devastating and beautifully written; this one lingers.

💭 Overall Take

If I had to narrow it down:
✨ Top picks: Blood Bound, How to Cheat Your Own Death, We Burned So Bright
✨ Best vibes read: Summer Flames
✨ For dark fantasy lovers: Amid Clouds and Bones + Hex House

And if you want something that makes you stare at a wall after… Break Room has entered the chat.

What are you picking up first?? 👀📚

Happy Tuesday, mis internet amigxs!

As I announced Sunday on socials, I'm just returning from the world premier of La Casa De Los Espiritus in Santiago, Chile. I will be publishing a post tomorrow about my experience, as well as some thoughts on the first 2 episodes of the show.

Who's tuning in tomorrow when it premieres on Amazon Prime?

As we wind up April reads, I will be posting polls for when to have our spoilery discussions on Discord.

In addition, start planning your May reads: Asiri and the Amaru by Natalia Hernandez for our main May selection and Accordion Eulogies by Noe Alvarez as our nonfiction sidequest through June.

And now onto the reasons you are here; this week's Latinx releases...

HISTORICAL FICTION

Liar's Dice by Juliet Faithfull (Audiobook)

PICTURE BOOK

Mami's Magic Words by Kiara Valdes and illustrated by Richy Sánchez Ayala

What Kind of Queen? A Royal Biography of Drag Queen and Activist José Sarria by Kyle Casey Chu & Andrew W Shaffer and Illustrated by Cindy Lozito

We the People Is All the People: A Picture Book by Howard W Reeves and Illustrated by Duncan Tonatiuh

Cheers,

Carmen

WIN A BOOK, and other important updates!

In case you missed it, I'm partnering with the Bay Area Book Festival and giving away a copy of The Reformatory by Tananarive Due! (Also if you're able to attend the festival, you get a meet and greet!) To enter: like this post and tag a friend.

Panels and Reading Updates

If you missed the news, I will be moderating an Indigenous romance panel at the festival this year!

Here are the books I'm reading in preparation:

Native Love Jams by Tashia Hart

When Stars Have Teeth by Dani Trujilo

Heartbeat Braves by Pamela Sanderson

I'm also moderating a chat at a local bookstore on June 6, with author Élan Les Vies, to celebrate his new book The Lemon Twist, so I'll be reading that this month, too!

Moderating at Bookcon was a dream! I was very prepared! (I read 8 thrillers in like 8 days!) and people even told me it was their favorite panel of the entire weekend!

I am very behind on book club books and the Toni Morrison read along and I don't see that improving much in May! (Thank GOD I leave the discord channels up for months, because I am the problem now, lol) I should have May's channels up this weekend.

I am also covering for coworker who's going to be out for 3 months, on deadline for an essay due in June, the Stanford Pow Wow is approaching, Florence and The Machine is in 2 weeks! and I'm hitting the road on Memorial Day weekend. You could say IM BOOKED AND BUSY!

While I may be participating less in bookclubs this month, my goal is to run Reading Sprints at least twice a week in the Discord! (TONIGHT 4pm PST/7pm EST)

When I was in NYC, I wanted to treat myself for all of my recent accomplishments. AND I DID. And the day after.... MY MACBOOK AIR crashed. Lmao. LIFE. I'm going to be listing a TON of special editions (probably everything except the horror) to Pango and a lot of other books to Pango to help me pay for a new laptop. I can't write this essay without a laptop. So if you're not following me on Pango yet, follow me now!

I brought 74 books home from NYC, so I'll likely unhaul 100 books in addition to the special editions. I have to start being more realistic about what I actually am going to read.

If you don't see anything on Pango that you want, but you want to support the new laptop fund, buy any book you want from my bookshop link (easily accessible by clicking on any book in this post.) I get a small percentage (usually $1-2 per book) but they do add up and everything helps. AND IF YOU HAVEN'T PREORDERED WHAT FEEDS BELOW YET...baby, now is the time! LOL.

Let me know if you want a more detailed blog post about my time in NYC: publisher parties, Bookcon, What Feeds Below arc handout!, Bookshopping, Megan Thee Stallion on Broadway!